Out on a Limb or My Renewed Commitment

The journey was created to record my journey, originally my writing journey but now I think it will be my health journey. It’s scary to think of writing on the web. I really don’t know how people do it so easily. Do they know they can write? Do they know someone who cares? Aren’t they afraid to be criticized or made fun off? I know I am.  I wonder if there is a way to block comments. Hmmm

Just kidding. I will only read comments from my trusted few.  Wait what if they don’t comment? Does that mean they don’t like it? What if no one cares? Oh gawd this is so dang hard.

Ok enough of that.  In September of 2009 I entered into a program developed by the Workman’s Compensation Board called MEFirst, Maine Employees Fighting Increasing Risk Starting Today.  The idea is to help state employees get healthier because apparently workman’s comp noticed that a big percentage of claims were state employees.

How it works-You are a part of a Group, mine was 8A, (more on why it’s a was and not an is later) and there is a wellness couch that helps you coordinate all the program has to offer:

A physical trainer, Weight Watchers, facilitation meetings, nurses meetings, yearly assessment tests and probably more I’m not thinking of right now.

I’m not going to try to tell you the intimate details of the last two years because, well it’s easier to do in a nutshell and tell the stories going forward. I hope.

Anywho here goes…

(I’m changing the names to protect the innocent or not-so innocent)

First year:

I hated exercising at the gym =intimidated and physically ill.

I lost 25lbs and gained it back.

I liked the facilitation group and started to realize our group may be an exception to the norm because of our honesty. (more on this another day)

I let two men into my life in a way I never thought possible.

·        Mr. TS a rugby playing physical trainer

·         The Stalker, my wellness coach.

Second year:

The Stalker helped me discover I could run!!! Holy Shit!!

I wasn’t intimidated by the gym or Mr. TS (mostly because I eventually realized that he was doing the program with us as a peer and that he was an excellent writer). I didn’t exactly want to go to the gym but when I was there I wasn’t self conscientious in any way because so many people there were just like me;  i.e. no leotard-clad ladies and huge weight lifting guys. 

And last but beyond not least, two things happened:

1.)    I stopped focusing on nutrition so much and started working harder with Mr. TS which brought me around to wanting good nutrition so I could work out. Wow, didn’t see that coming at all.

2.)    With more working out and even just a little better nutrition I finally actually felt what I was told I would feel… “I Felt Better After I Worked Out!” No matter how I felt before I went to the gym; I went and lo and behold I have left every time glad that I went.

These things are huge to me.

At the end of the second year though I was discouraged because I hadn’t lost significant weight, still suffered from sickness and pain, and still had no real desire to eat right and exercise.  I want to want to so badly but I just don’t yet.

MEFirst is a great program and they are watching us closely so they came up with a new program for people just like me; i.e. no significant change and still struggling. Amazing!!! This program and these people working it are incredibly intuitive. So I applied for the MEFirst on Steroids program, actually called ME4Life. Careful what you wish for because I got in.

Now not only have I amped my commitment to change my lifestyle with the help of this program, I have promised my old Group 8A (0ld group 8A because I have to join a new group obviously) I will blog my journey at least every week starting no later than 9/11/11. I will miss them and they tell me they will miss me. I know they support me and I want to put myself out there for them and for myself.

Just one more thing…September 11, 2011 is 11 years since my mother passed away from cancer at the young age of 58. She spent her whole life putting others first and not taking good care of herself at all.  I turned 47 this year and thought “What if I only live for 11 more years?”

So begins The Journey…